It is a letter I’ve been writing for a long time, with repeating of the Fish Leong’s new album once and once again, after a thoughtful thinking in my long shower just now.

I’m writing in English not for showing off or something, just for escaping from irrelative people.

To whom it may concern,

Sorry, I betrayed your trust.

I’ve no idea how come I’ve been acting so crazily madly ridiculous. That was not me, not the real me. I guess my EQ must be damned low; otherwise I would not lose my mind. It just, just like when it comes to the problems about him, I cannot behave myself. When I faced him, everything on me is out of control. I was stuck in that atmosphere, could not think clearly, became irrational, and arbitrary…

I, sometimes, meant to do something awful, to make him disgust me. I thought if he treats me badly, I might would hate him and leave him alone… But my faults again, he’d never treat me poorly, neither would I never hate him. I got heartache when he’s still nice to me. I felt bad, felt guilty, and got less courage to admit my faults. I don’t know how and when I could confess to you. I’ve been struggling in it deadly...

Well, I know these are all excuses. I know the thing now is, I put you into such a great quandary, which I haven’t thought much about. I’m such an idiot. I was not an eligible friend. But I do treasure this friendship. I do appreciate your company during these tough days. I do, truly. Please, please don’t go away, please.

I don't expect your forgiveness, but just express my sorry and warn myself here. It’s time to get over him, totally. Thank you, so much.

Love,

eva

如果不是那鏡子 不像你 不藏秘密
我還不肯相信 沒有你 我的笑更美麗
那天聽你在電話裡 略帶抱歉的關心
我嘟的一聲 切得比你說分手徹底

 

淚濕的衣 洗干凈 陽光裡曬乾回憶
折好了傷心 明天起 只和快樂出去
這愛的城市雖然擁擠
如果真的遇見你
你不必訝異 我的笑 她無法代替

 

離開你 我才發現自己
那愛笑的眼睛 流過淚
像躲不過的暴風雨 淋濕的昨天 刪去
離開你我才找回自己 那愛笑的眼睛
再見愛情
我一定讓自己 讓自己決定

 

離開你 我才發現自己
那愛笑的眼睛 流了淚
當一個人看舊電影 是我不小心 而已
離開你我才找回自己 那愛笑的眼睛
再見到你
我一定讓自己 讓自己堅定

 

離開你 我才發現自己
那愛笑的眼睛 流過淚
像躲不過的暴風雨 淋濕的昨天 忘記
離開你我才找回自己 那愛笑的眼睛
再見愛情
我一定讓自己 讓自己堅定

 

再見到你
我一定讓自己 假裝很堅定